Mary
Eileen McMaster Melenbacker
April
19, 1921 to July
13, 2018
A
woman filled with Kindness, Grace and Love, Mary exuded “Warmth,
Laughter, Wisdom, Gentility” (Cindy Hinman-Cosola). And now
she bids
farewell and leaves her essence to her family, friends and community
she loved
so dearly.
Mary
(97+) was born to John W. and Helen Durkee
McMaster in West Sparta, New York on April 19, 1921 “AD” (as she would
jokingly
say whenever anyone asked her for her birth date). Growing
up, Mary lived
a charmed life and she loved and dearly appreciated every bit of it. She was raised in a loving
home with her
older brother Warren (Brub) and identical twin sister Jean and was
surrounded
by joy, music, strong principles, hard work and fun-loving relatives to
instill
her humanitarian values.
Mary
and Jean graduated with honors from Geneseo
State Teachers College in 1942 and began teaching in the fall.
That
summer, however, they had an important decision to make because they
had an
exciting opportunity! The
twins were
talented singers and at the age of 21, they were each offered a
scholarship to
the Milwaukee, WI Radio Drama Workshop, where they won a singing
contest and
twice sang with the Jimmy Dorsey Orchestra (once on their senior high
school
trip to DC). They were even asked to tour with the band but
declined and
began their teaching careers with Mary going to Canisteo for three
years and
then moving to Wayland for five years.
Married
in November 1944 and divorced in January
1956, Mary returned to Dansville and continued teaching and raised her
“three
little special people” (her three children) on her own, whom she “loved
to
pieces and loved all of the pieces.” It was a very painful
road for a
while as she documented: “trying
to hide
my grief, despair and *shame (*Divorce in 1956 was for movie stars and
celebrities, not the innocents of rural Western NYS).
Jean was my ‘Rock of Gibraltar’!
I couldn’t have done it without her!!”
A few years later, Mary was engaged to Ellis B. Hyde, the
Superintendent
of the Dansville Public Schools. Sadly,
he suddenly passed away during their engagement.
Holding onto her children, brother and
sister, teaching, and survival instincts, Mary persevered. As a lover and promoter of
learning, Mary
continued her education and acquired the equivalent of a Master's
Degree
in
Education.
Mary
taught 33 years, 25 years in Dansville and
22 of those teaching the first grade. She considered her
teaching role a
privilege and honor and one of the loves of her life. And it
showed
because upon her retirement, her Primary School Principal Howard
Lapidus sent
her the following note: “To a person who has a positive and
‘graceful’
attitude towards everyone she meets.”
Mary and her sister, Jean, retired from teaching in 1981
after
positively touching the lives of thousands of children.
Throughout
her teaching career, Mary loved her
involvement with community service and volunteer work. She
dedicated
herself to: the
Clara Barton Chapter No.
1 of the American Red Cross (Board of Directors); the Dansville Area
and
Livingston County Historical Society (Correspondent); the Dansville
Museum; the
Dansville Women’s Civic Club; Noyes Memorial Hospital Auxiliary;
Genesee Valley
Council on the Arts; Opportunity Circle of the King’s Daughters and
Sons; the
Samaritan Dinner Program; Hospital Visitors’ Desk; Retired Teachers
Association
(Dansville and Livingston County); Geneseo Alumni Association; Meals on
Wheels;
Friends of the Dansville Public Library; Livingston County Children’s
Protective Association; Red Cross Blood Drive; and, as a Deacon for the
Dansville Presbyterian Church, among many other roles she willingly
undertook.
Mary
enriched her life every single day and
here’s a glimpse into her greatest joys and activities:
family
gatherings; documenting her life’s precious moments through thousands
of images
she and others took and writing comments on the back of nearly every
photo;
singing and listening to good music (classical, semi-classical, and
popular
music of the ‘30s and 40’s); birds, especially the chickadees; walking
the
woods; arranging flower bouquets; beautifying her surroundings with
aesthetics
and the arts; specialty/gourmet cooking; chinning with her dear friends
and
friend groups (e.g., the PDQs, M&Ts and M&Es) and
making new friends;
voracious
reader; collecting and practicing quotes and sage sayings she lived by
every
day; writing and sending her special messages on holiday and birthday
cards to
family and friends; and, planning-cooking-hosting all holidays and
special
occasions, to name a few. Mary was known throughout the
region for her
scrumptious apple, blueberry and pumpkin pies.
She was a gifted writer and known for it because she was
repeatedly
asked to write letters for others (e.g., thank you letters requested by
community institutions, letters requested by individuals, etc.).
During
her “golden retirement years,” between
the ages of 60 and 86, Mary continued her community service, volunteer
work and
activities, traveled more to visit her family and friends, created more
occasions for meetups with friends, and typically walked 5 miles a day
for her
health and to meet with friends around town (“very special”).
The
next two years took a medical toll on Mary,
and her children rallied to her side to help her continue her life in
her home
and beloved community. But as life would have it, a different
decision
was needed and just following her 88th birthday, Mary said good-bye to
the home
(38 years) and community (88 years) she knew and loved.
Mary
lived the last 9+ years of her life with
her daughter, Ingrid, and Ingrid’s husband, John, in Springfield, VA.
While she was so sad to leave her beloved friends and
hometown, of which
she held such pride and joy, she embraced her new phase of life with
curiosity,
grace and love. Everyone who met her became her friend.
Mary
was hospitalized on Sunday, July 8, 2018
with aspiration pneumonia of which progressive dementia is a
contributing
cause. She still knew her family and recognized old friends
with all her
love. Over the course of five days complications progressed and Mary
passed
peacefully in Northern Virginia at INOVA Fairfax Hospital with Ingrid,
Celia
and their husbands by her side. We’re thankful that during
her last
critical days, she was mostly unaware of her current state.
Living
beyond age 97, Mary outlived many of
her friends and family members. She was predeceased by her
brother Warren
(Doris) McMaster (Dansville, NY), and her identical twin sister Jean
(Bill)
McMaster Ullyette (Dansville, NY); her three nieces Susan Ullyette (New
York,
NY), Sarah Ullyette Harrington (Dansville, NY), and Janine Ullyette
(New York,
NY); her fiance' Ellis Hyde (Dansville, NY); her brother-in-law Robert
(Kay)
Melenbacker (Fresno, CA), and her former husband Alfred Melenbacker
(Truro,
MA). Her other sister, Harriet McMaster (Dansville, NY), died
before Mary was born.
Mary
is survived by:
3 children: